Pessimistic view on Big Poppa's life. Everything booted up fine, except the touchscreen sensors are completely gone. Bummer. Hopefully, that can somehow by replaced cheaper than buying a new iPhone. We'll see.
Note to self: Next time don't purchase ridiculously expensive items that can jump in the toilet. It's somewhat traumatic and sad. Oh, and if you do make the mistake of buying something so attractively bad ass and expensive, don't get so attached. It will make the after-jumping-in-the-toilet transition a lot easier.
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